It so easy sometimes for us to immediately react to what we think makes us angry. Whether it’s a person, place or thing.
We can be compulsive and confrontational automatically.
But of course, that’s how we’re mostly conditioned to be.
It always looks like our anger is caused by something outside of us. But what if the anger we feel is caused by something inside of us ?
What if the person, place or thing we think is angering us is actually just triggering a past memory?
Would that help us respond differently?
What if we could see that the cause of this feeling of anger is coming from our own thinking about a similar situation from a past experience?
Wouldn’t that completely change our behaviour from confronting others to looking within us?
If we really look closely at what the root cause of our anger is, we can see that it’s always an inside job. It never comes from outside of us.
How do we know?
Well, for example if it’s a person that we think is causing our anger, than that person should be the cause of everyone’s anger. But if it’s just us getting angry, that gives us good evidence to see that it’s not them, it’s us. And as soon as we are able to see this for ourselves, we can go from dysfunctional, insecure behaviour to more of a reflection within us inquiring what is it that’s causing us this disturbance. When we do this, we can see that it’s coming from our thinking about the past in some form.
And if it’s actually our thinking that causes it, would it make sense to react to this person, place or thing?
I assume it would make much more sense to let our thinking settle down and then look to deal with whatever it is we need to deal with.
This can be the difference between having a relationship that’s based on compassion and understanding vs having a battle with someone that perpetuates more anger, insecurity and dysfunctional behaviour.
The relationship we have with our own thoughts shapes every other relationship in our lives.
Inquire within yourself. see what you notice.